Skip to main content

Clarissa Dalloway Is a Virgo

In late November 2016, the poets Alex Dimitrov and Dorothea Lasky decided to bring their shared love of astrology and poetry to the world, and Astro Poets was born. They’ve since amassed hundreds of thousands of Twitter followers for their sharp, snappy takes on the signs, and this November, they’ll release their first book together, Astro Poets: Your Guides to the Zodiac. To celebrate the reveal of the book’s cover, Dimitrov and Lasky read the charts of some of literature’s most beloved (and reviled) characters.

 

Aries: Janie Crawford (Their Eyes Were Watching God)

Janie Crawford is the quintessential Aries: resilient, determined, and ready to take control of her own destiny.

Taurus: Elizabeth Bennet (Pride and Prejudice)

Elizabeth Bennet will marry for love, and she doesn’t care if that goes against convention, and she doesn’t care who she’ll disappoint. She is the epitome of a Taurus: strong-minded and endlessly passionate.

Gemini: Emma Bovary (Madame Bovary)

Like every Gemini, Emma Bovary wants everything. Within her, she holds an ideal, romanticized view of the world but is entirely aware of life’s brutality.

Cancer: Gregor Samsa (The Metamorphosis)

Gregor Samsa has abandonment issues (and maybe rightfully so). Cue the violins. Cancers are beautiful and can get super existential, but every day there’s one throwing themselves a pity party.

Leo: Dorian Gray (The Picture of Dorian Gray)

Who wouldn’t want to stay young and beautiful forever? That’s what Dorian Gray wants, and it’s such a Leo wish. An artist is also infatuated with him because he’s so handsome. Leos, you know you love this.

Virgo: Clarissa Dalloway (Mrs. Dalloway)

Clarissa Dalloway wants to throw a party for everyone she loves. She loves to plan. She loves to do everything herself. A true Virgo.

Libra: Daisy Buchanan (The Great Gatsby)

Of course Daisy is a Libra. She attempts to mask her sadness with the material world, has great aesthetic taste, and believes in love regardless of her mistakes.

Scorpio: Esther Greenwood (The Bell Jar)

Esther Greenwood feels too much. She’s sharp and brilliant and knows how dark human nature is. Every Scorpio has suffered like she has.

Sagittarius: David (Giovanni’s Room)

David is having an affair in Paris. David just wants to be free and in love. David is mercurial and seductive, too. Does this sound like a Sagittarius you know?

Capricorn: Heathcliff, (Wuthering Heights)

Let’s talk about how Heathcliff is full of rage and jealousy and also how it’s totally hot. Heathcliff couldn’t be anything but a Capricorn. His assertiveness is his strength—and his downfall, too.

Aquarius: Holden Caulfield (Catcher in the Rye)

Holden is a true rebel and a walking contradiction. He’s aloof, artsy, and cynical enough to drive you crazy but make you wish he were your best friend.

Pisces: Holly Golightly (Breakfast at Tiffany’s)

Holly Golightly wants life to be a dream. She’s hot, social, and constantly looking for love. She lives in her own fantasy, really. She’s the type of person who’s both happy and sad at all times. Pisces vibes all around.

 

Alex Dimitrov is the author of Love and Other Poems, which will be published in 2020, Together and by Ourselves, and Begging for It. His poems have appeared in The New Yorker, the New York Times, The Paris Review, and Poetry. He lives in New York.

Dorothea Lasky is the author of six books of poetry and prose, most recently Milk and the forthcoming Animal. She has published several poems in The Paris Review. She lives in New York.



from The Paris Review http://bit.ly/2ZBohAE
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Beautiful Faraway: Why I’m Grateful for My Soviet Childhood

At 10 I wanted to be an artist, practiced a hysterical form of Christianity, talked to trees, and turned a sunset at a local park into a visionary experience. My great-aunt lured me to Evangelical Christianity with the strangeness of Gospel stories where Jesus always ended up angry at his disciples’ failure to understand. I sympathized with being misunderstood, and latched on. Besides, Christianity was a forbidden fruit in Soviet Russia so I had to worship in secret. This was unnerving but also alluring. I was a breathless romantic who wanted to be surprised by a knight on a white horse. From the early ‘80s to the early ‘90s, my childhood was formed by the images, atmosphere, and allusiveness of Soviet songs. I grew up in an artistic family where emotions flew high. I was the kind of imaginative child who could spin an entire tale from an oblong stain on the kitchen table. But there’s more to it than that. My family was not always idealistic or romantic, especially not in New York in...
Post a Comment
Read more

Dressing for Others: Lawrence of Arabia’s Sartorial Statements

Left: T. E. Lawrence; Right: Peter O’Toole in Lawrence of Arabia (1962) In the southwest Jordanian desert, among the sandstone mountains of Wadi Rum, there is a face carved into a rock. The broad cheeks and wide chin are framed by a Bedouin kuffiyeh headdress and ‘iqal, and beneath the carving, in Arabic, are the words: “Lawrence The Arab 1917.” If you are visiting Wadi Rum with a tour guide, you can expect to be brought to this carving. You may also be shown a spring where Lawrence allegedly bathed, as well as a mountain named after his autobiography, The Seven Pillars of Wisdom, whose rock face has been weathered into a shape that does, from some angles, look a little like a series of pillars. I am familiar with the legend of T.E. Lawrence—fluent Arabist, British hero of the Arab Revolt of 1916, troubled lover of the Arab peoples—as well as with the ways the Jordanian tourism industry has capitalized on this legend. Nevertheless, I am still surprised when I hear someone mentio...
Post a Comment
Read more

Philistines

Welcome to Disney World! Photograph courtesy of Wikimedia Commons. 1. Once I had to go to Disney World with my small children. On the way to the airport our taxi driver exhibited signs of Obsessive Disney Disorder—when he found out where we were going he started obsessively describing and listing and explaining everything that had to do with Disney World, even though he was a grown man. We stayed at the Portofino Bay Hotel, a Disney-owned property that is a replica of the storied village on the Italian Riviera. There were imitation Renaissance churches and Mediterranean piazzas clustered around a fake harbor with old Fiats parked on the cobblestones and fishing boats moored in the fake bay. Outside cafés ranged on the harbor, serving espresso under green-and-white striped awnings. Italian cypresses were planted along the pools. If you didn’t know it was a Disney replica of a real place, it would have to be characterized as being extremely tasteful and lovely. So you did tend to ge...
Post a Comment
Read more